im holly from the hills drunk
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sober January is a disaster.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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