You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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