we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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