weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
