He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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