More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
