my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
