i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
