i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
