there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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