i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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