im having a threesome with these popsicles
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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