I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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