I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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