he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize