Dude my mom stole all your condoms
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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