the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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