we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
