He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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