Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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