the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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