Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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