Non-Jews are for practice
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
