Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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