she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
