I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
