Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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