Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
