Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
