Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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