Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize