My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
