Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
