Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Even my vagina gasped.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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