Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
