I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
