I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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