I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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