God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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