Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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