Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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