how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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