Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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