It's just like the Real World with babies
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
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I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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