Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.