Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i think i have two assholes
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
