We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
