i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
