Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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