We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
