I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
