i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize