There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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