Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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