Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize