It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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