But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
