I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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