FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.