Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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