It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
