I feel great
I just peed on a car
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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